News Round-Up…

That prick Duncan Smith continues to talk rubbish…

The work and pensions secretary has criticised people “who think they’re too good” to stack supermarket shelves on back-to-work government schemes.

On the BBC’s Andrew Marr Show, Iain Duncan Smith suggested that many “smart people” overlooked the importance of effective shelf-stacking.

“Effective shelf-stacking”? “Effective shelf-stacking?” Spoken like a man who’s never had to stack a shelf in his entire sodding life. Get out.

Meanwhile, supporters of Workfare (or “stupid people”) overlook the importance of not subsidising the wage bill of a fucking private company! One last quote jumps out…

“Let me remind you that [former Tesco chief executive] Terry Leahy started his life stacking shelves.”

Yes, Ian. I imagine he was paid an actual wage, as well!

In more cheerful news, scientists reveal the secrets of mind-control by remote-controlling beetles and rats…

Why make tiny flying drones when you can fly real insects by remote-control? It could lead to a neuroscience revolution, explains Emily Anthes in an excerpt from her new book Frankenstein’s Cat

Personally I think all this is fascinating, and I eagerly await the first human trials. However, for those of you with a tendency to worry, our Chief Scientist has these words of comfort:

Maharbiz bristles at the most sinister suggestions, at the media coverage that suggests his beetles are the product of, as he puts it, “some evil government conspiracy”. His beetles haven’t been sent out into the field yet – they still need some refinement before they’re ready for deployment – but if and when they are, Maharbiz says he expects his bugs to be used abroad, in routine military operations, but not to track US citizens.

Lucky yanks!

Anyway, that seems to be about it for today. Because, you know, it’s Sunday and nothing ever happens on a Sunday. Not even getting dressed. Plus, I’ve just lost interest. Maybe I’ll fill out my JSA form instead…

Yes. That will make me feel better.


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